Studies show that if a person has faced rejection or disparaging situations in childhood or adolescence, they are likely to have rejection-sensitivity later on in life. These things become giants of the past, feeding on one’s self-esteem to grow big and hindering the present. Rejection-sensitive people, despite the reassurances given to them by their loved ones that they are good enough and loved, misinterpret even the slightest change of facial expressions or behaviour towards them. They are on a constant lookout for signs implying rejection. This exaggerated sensitivity eventually pushes people away, thus fulfilling the self-proclaimed prophecy of rejection.
So, if we have faced rejection in the past that still haunts us and makes us vulnerable in relationships, is there a way out? The good news is that there is always opportunity to start afresh. The first step is recognizing and acknowledging the issue. The real issue, however, goes a lot beyond our past. It cuts to the very heart of the basic human need for love and acceptance. It’s almost like we all have this void in us that no one or nothing is able to completely fill. The Bible tells us that each one of us is fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and our need for ultimate validation can only be met by his love. What higher validation or affirmation would we need if we could experience the love and acceptance of the Creator of the universe himself? If we could hear him say to us, “You matter. I love you.”
In Jesus, this is exactly what God said to the world, to the extent of coming to the earth and giving his life for each of us. If we accept and experience this love, it can become the safe space, the very ground of our identity, from which we further seek relationships with those around us, or get the help we may need to overcome past baggage. The sheer healing and acceptance that we experience in Jesus could possibly even flow into the lives of others. If all that you have read raise further questions in your mind, or if you simply want to talk, feel free to reach out to us.
