Forgive yourself, but don’t forget the lessons!

In the heat of an argument with a loved, we sometimes end up saying things we shouldn’t have, only to look back later and realize that we were wrong. We feel the heavy burden of guilt and deep regret, constantly replaying the scene in our head and wistfully thinking about what should have or could have been done instead. Reliving such mistakes, we may end up feeling lost in the dark shadows of these unpleasant memories.

We know that forgiving ourselves is the way to free ourselves from the guilt, but sometimes it is so hard to do. Instead, self-pity becomes the easy escape route. The only way to break out of such unhealthy cycles is to acknowledge our flaws rather than staying in denial, and striving to change. Instead of beating ourselves up, we can choose to learn from the mistakes, move on and make amends with those whom we have hurt. But how can we just forgive ourselves? What gives us the authority to do this?

The Bible says that ”if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away.” God is that transcendent source who can not only help us truly experience forgiveness within, but also transform our lives and behaviour from the inside out. So trust in His mercy and transforming grace.