“I don’t have anything to wear!”, “I don’t have anything to do!”, “I don’t have time to take care of myself!”. Life feels pointless to most. Many of us have heard friends or family express these sentiments, and we’ve probably said them ourselves. Yet, we all have a wardrobe of clothes, numerous obligations and at least some free time. We often wish to pamper ourselves more or have the means to afford the latest societal trends. Or as we call it, true self-love. There’s a lot of buzz around this, so let’s unpack some authentic self-love practices and how finding true self-love in modern times is challenging.
Meaning of True Self-Love
Let’s start by finding the meaning of true self-love. Is it merely spending money on clothes, material things or experiences? We’ve had a cultural shift in our thinking process and lifestyles. Traditionally, it meant accepting who you are and recognizing your strengths and weaknesses. Respecting yourself meant ensuring no harm to the body or people around you. Striving to be the best version of yourself for your own happiness and the happiness of others was another form of self-love.
However, as a society, we have shifted our focus from who we are to what we have. We have become selfish and justify our lifestyle, saying we deserve more because influencers seem to live their lives to the fullest.
The Paradox of Consumption and Unhappiness
However, a few statistics paint a worrying picture. World consumer spending for 2022 was $55,971 Trillion, more than twice that in 2000. A concerning fact is that despite increased consumption, more than 720,000 suicides happen yearly. That’s nearly two deaths every 1 minute. Why does life seem unfulfilling despite the increase in consumption and lifestyle?
What does self-love mean to you, and how important is it? For Alexander the Great, the meaning of self-love was probably to conquer cities and expand his name and fame. However, in his dying moments, all he wished to do was meet his mother one last time.
As a society, we have become more self-centred than ever. Yet, a growing population feels their life is meaningless and seeks happiness and purpose in spending money on themselves. We live in a generation where net worth dictates our value.
How to practice authentic self-love?
We tend to forget that life is a beautiful struggle and that the beauty in life is in its mysteries and human relationships. So, what are some of the things we can do to practice self-love without looking at trends?
- Learn to prioritize – Pick a thing or two you wish to learn or do rather than going after a fad on social media.
- Happiness is contagious – Share your joy with others without constantly focusing on yourself. This doesn’t mean neglecting self-care of yourself but rather being mindful of others. We have more reasons to rejoice when the people around us are happy.
- Choose to serve rather than to be served – This is an extension of the previous point and doesn’t mean to give all of your savings to people around you. Building others up helps us to learn, value life more and often gain a new outlook on life.
We have numerous self-love genre authors these days, but none of them have provided a solution to our problems. They have written books on their journey but will never be able to guide another to the light. True self-love is loving yourself, setting boundaries, and not requiring external validation.
Why Modern Self-Love Falls Apart?
Modern self-love teaches us only to love ourselves, but this version of self-love crumbles with time. Ultimately, we aren’t going to remember how many cities we conquered or how many brands we tried on, but if we lived a fulfilling life. Unlike Alexander the Great, who kept craving the next best thing, let’s focus on being content with what we have received.
Returning to a Lifestyle of Meaning and Purpose
It’s time to return to the ages-old way of living, one of humility and serenity. Learn to love and treat yourself so that you can show the same affection to others. True self-love entails living a balanced, grateful, and generous life rather than engaging in selfish indulgence.
As the proverb goes, “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.” because selfishness always starts with “self,” whereas “donate” begins with “do.” By moving our focus from self-gratification to self-awareness and purposeful living, we can actually feel authentic self-love that will last in the long run.
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